Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
