look no pants
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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