Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
