Apparently you make a good broom.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
