it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
