i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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