week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
