I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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