is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
