the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I deserve this hangover.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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