apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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