You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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