She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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