I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
