went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
