Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
