so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
