Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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