Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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