with your own penis?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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