i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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