i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
