I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
