i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
