drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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