My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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