If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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