I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
