Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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