Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
