It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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