i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
