He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
