this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
