i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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