Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize