I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
