Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
