I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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