And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
