I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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