he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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