i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
