She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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