This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
