thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I touched a dick in church today
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
