Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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