i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
