I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
