she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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