I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
