i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
