Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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