the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
