just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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