I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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