I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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